Birthday Party!

There was a birthday party in the apartment complex today. With cake, chaat, noodles and the usual biryani-sambar combination, lots of sticky cake and a little baby in a white fairy frock trying to understand why so many nosy adults were trying to pinch her.

But what set the thing apart was the entertainment. The baby’s father gathered all kids in the building and set them loose with lots of music to choose from, a sound system and the clubhouse stage. It was a brilliant evening. Kids from 0-14 dancing, pushing, laughing, crying, tripping, helping each other, cutting off all the dances a girl who didn’t seem too popular attempted, and generally acting like, well, kids; instead of acting like little grown-ups.

While I was watching them, I wondered. How do we evolve from pinched-my-cheek-so-I’ll-cry to don’t-like-her-so-will-take-away-her-dance? When do we learn to plot and plan and everything else? From candidly honest to scheming?

One question that really stands out in my mind is, “When did you first realize that it’s ok to lie?” There’s a moment in everyone’s life when we think something’s a lie but our parents assure us that it’s a smart thing to do. Could me something as innocuous as not telling the teacher you don’t own a pair of black pants that is the prerequisite for acting in the play to (if you’re unlucky enough), your parents telling you it’s stupid to own up to getting more marks than you deserve.

There’s a moment when we corrupt that absolute honesty of childhood. When as grown-ups, we make that difficult choice of exposing children to the harsh realities of the world. And it’s the very same moment that, as children, we realize we are doing something momentous by making friends with that kid with all the chocolates who we think is an idiot or by lying about our homework…

Is it the fear of punishment that makes us lie? Is it the feeling that we cannot really get along with the world if we don’t lie? Is it self preservation? Or is it that we simply give ourselves too much credit in hoping honesty comes naturally to us?

Those were some things that struck me as I watched the kids.

As for the birthday girl, I can assume that she hasn’t entered the grown-up world yet. I say that because she smilingly let everyone carry her except for a universally detested (for good reason) man…

We willingly lose that honesty expecting to find great treasures over time. And sometimes, its taken away leaving us only with the promise of great treasures. But with time, we realize that it really was only losing after all…