Simbly Bored

It's me that's bored enough to blog. The posts are interesting enough.

LOL! December 16, 2009

Filed under: My Idea of Humour — The Goddess @ 1:31 pm

On Wednesday morning, the actor-turned-politician announced that he would begin a hunger strike in support of “a United Andhra” at Tirupati on Thursday morning. That offer was quickly withdrawn when various pro-Telangana groups warned that no movies with any connection to Chiranjeevi would be screened in Telangana, a key territory for film distributors.

Read more here.

 

You Know You’re Getting Older When… August 3, 2009

Filed under: My Idea of Humour, Nostalgia — The Goddess @ 8:11 pm

…the items on your shopping list start to have the following key words:

  • Vitamin enriched
  • Anti oxidants
  • Wrinkle fighting
  • High fibre
  • Low fat
  • Low cholesterol
  • Whole grain

…you have any of these songs on your ipod:

  • Kumar Sanu-Anuradha Paudwal duets
  • DDLJ music
  • Cream of Clapton
  • Boyzone, Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls or any of the other 90’s boy/girl bands (that includes Boyzone’s pathetic “Words” cover)

…you find yourself criticizing drivers who:

  • switch lanes without an indicator
  • drive more than 10mph over the speed limit on an empty road
  • honk
  • look like they’re college students

…you vividly remember these Bollywood movies (for good or bad):

  • Mr India
  • Andaz Apna Apna
  • Qurbani
  • Rangeela
  • Raj Hindustani
  • Trimurti
  • Hum Aapke Hain Kaun
  • Jeans
  • Beta

…you watched any of these shows on TV:

  • Ramayan
  • Mahabharat
  • Sword of Tipu Sultan
  • Malgudi Days
  • Karamchand
  • Chandrakanta
  • Zee TV’s Saanp Seedhi
  • Small Wonder

Any others come to mind?

 

Questions About India – II June 5, 2009

Filed under: My Idea of Humour — The Goddess @ 11:16 pm

The answers are actual responses to the questions posted on a website by Foreigners planning a visit to India

Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Delhi to Goa- can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into India? ( UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tuesday night in Goa, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Can I wear high heels in India? ( UK )
A: You’re a British politician, right?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Q: Do you have perfume in India? ( France)
A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you’ll have to learn it first.

Q: Can I see Taj Mahal anytime? (Italy)
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime.

Q: Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (we have different grades)