Yawn! Is it Spring Yet? November 23, 2009

I’m hibernating. This time, for real. I’ve been reading books at a remarkable rate, cooking, eating, sleeping, spending time window shopping on Amazon (I love the used books), chatting with friends, reading random news (even more than when I was working at Tech Support) and been generally day-dreaming…

I’ve also decided to apply to some PhD programs. I know, like the Husband’s PhD wasn’t hard enough, we’re going to live through another one. This time though, Husband will be making tons of money and also, he’ll be forced to be more “understanding spouse” than I was because he’s been through the PhD thingy. Whatever… This assumes that I am actually going to get an admit from a school I like. With funding being cut everywhere (in everything except healthcare and related fields) it might not be all that simple.

Other updates (bulleted list because I miss writing case papers for school):

• Texas is warm
• We’re finally living within 10 miles of Mysore Masala Dosa serving restaurant
• We’ve been driving our car on its spare tire because we’ve been too lazy to get the flat repaired
• We own actual furniture (bed, dining table, futon and TV) Yay Ikea!
• bought a completely useless appliance called electric kettle (I’m too lazy to even heat water on the stove now)
• decided to make new friends and well, blah blah blah!

Ooh! Forgot! The Husband and I are going to celebrate “one month of living in the same apartment” in a few days. Major milestone for us. So, this is what being married really feels like!

Goddess or Agony Aunt? October 20, 2009

Here’s a comment I recently received:

Dear Agony Aunt,

How should I decide if I am ready to spend the rest of my hopefully long life with someone I met a couple of times when I take months, sometimes years, to choose my friends?!

What would I ask her? “What are your hobbies? Who’s your fav actor? What’s your fav movie? So, will you marry me?”

How would I buy her a surprise wedding gift when I dont know her taste?

How would I romance an almost stranger? And now it’s almost scientifically proven by Nature that I have no luck with a love marriage! Am I going die single?

Dear Distressed Desi Male,

Unless the most important decisions of your life revolve around watching movies, building your DVD collection and planning how to use your spare room, may I suggest you ask more meaningful questions such as what marriage means to her, whether she considers an arranged marriage a last resort and what plans and/or dreams she has for her future?

May I also gently point out that we no longer live in the dark ages and you could possibly write her an email or two even if you can’t meet her in person?

And Beta, correct me if I’m wrong. When you run around dating that cute girl you only met that one time at a party, are you not romancing a stranger till you decide you love her?

Louve Shouve is all fine Beta, but you must remember, arranged marriage is our Sanskriti. It is our Baratiya Sabhyata. It is also our last resort.

With Best Wishes for a Happy and Prosperous Married Life.

Your Friendly Agony Aunty

ps: Diamonds are the best surprise

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to all readers – please note the sarcasm…

Be a Man August 7, 2009

In our days of liberated women, unisex, metrosexuals and being in touch with our “inner selves” have we killed the real men there were out there? Of late, I seem to encounter too many men who sound like school-girls. But what is a real man like?

A real man is secure about himself. Confident without being arrogant, chivalrous without being chuavnistic, willing to compromise without making it seem like a favour and able to watch a romantic movie without calling it a chick flick.

A real man can stand up for his woman. He appreciates that his woman can most likely live without him but chooses to be with him (the reverse applies to real women too). But he can stand up for her and shield her from some things she faces simply by virtue of being his partner.

A real man can appreciate that his woman is probably tougher than him. And he resepects her for it. But he’s there for her when she needs to break down without making her feel like a barbie doll. He can and will drop anything, anytime to be with his partner when she needs him.

A real man understands that a woman can beat him professionally and be a sport about it. He doesn’t “allow” his partner to have a career. Come to think of it, he realizes that he cannot “allow” his partner to do anything. She makes her own choices and her own decisions. Being with him is one of them.

A real man can cook as well as he can eat. He can keep a bathroom clean and appreciate the softness of clothes just out of the dryer. He can be romantic without losing his masculinity and empathize when he encounters PMS and menstrual cramps. He can take over the home when his partner is busy but leave it to her the remaining times.

A real man understands that it takes two to make “sacrifices” in a relationship. And he respects his woman enough to not “expect” her to do anything. And he has the maturity to make the right decision without labelling it a “sacrifice” and making it look like he’s doing her a favour.

To all those whiney, wimpy, annoying, complaining, insecure, bitchy men out there, I have just one piece of advice. Grow a pair of b***s…