There’s a way to double your patience with $400. Try flying Delta from Newark. If the constant delays don’t teach you restraint (grown women don’t cry, even if their flights have been rescheduled 3 times and delayed 4 times), the surly agents surely will (one mustn’t slap people however rude…)
I’m sure I did nothing evil enough in this lifetime to deserve this:
- Memphis – Newark Connection: Delayed. Severe thunderstorms in Newark. The crew decides to tell us two minutes after we’ve all boarded the plane and fastened our seatbelts. Reach New Jersey at 1:30 am
- New Jersey Train to the City: Train breaks down halfway through. Stranded in the middle of nowhere (warehouses, if you’d like to know) for 45 mins before heading back sheepishly.
- Newark – Cincinnati (original flight): Delayed. Must reschedule unless I look forward to spending night at Cincinnati airport.
- Newark – Atlanta (rescheduled flight, two hours later): Delayed. Must reschedule for morning unless I look forward to spending night at Atlanta airport. Must chase checked-in bag at Delta Baggage Claim (rude, unhelpful agents)
- Newark – Detroit (rescheduled flight, at 6am): After 20 mins and shuttling twice between NWA and Delta, realize agent from previous evening has booked me onto tomorrows flight instead of todays
- Newark – Cincinnati (rescheduled for 5:55am): Cut my way through line at security check only to discover flight has been delayed by 45 mins (“missing” tow bar and truck!)
- Cincinnati – Evansville: All goes well. Even Murphy gives up trying! Reach home by 11:30am.
Thank heavens my tiny baby niece is cute… But even the common quarter genes don’t exert a pull strong enough to endure this horror again. Ever!
Now I know why America is the land of gas guzzling highway travel… Besides, driving may be greener than flying anyway…