Simbly Bored

It's me that's bored enough to blog. The posts are interesting enough.

Yawn! Is it Spring Yet? November 23, 2009

I’m hibernating. This time, for real. I’ve been reading books at a remarkable rate, cooking, eating, sleeping, spending time window shopping on Amazon (I love the used books), chatting with friends, reading random news (even more than when I was working at Tech Support) and been generally day-dreaming…

I’ve also decided to apply to some PhD programs. 🙂 I know, like the Husband’s PhD wasn’t hard enough, we’re going to live through another one. This time though, Husband will be making tons of money and also, he’ll be forced to be more “understanding spouse” than I was because he’s been through the PhD thingy. Whatever… This assumes that I am actually going to get an admit from a school I like. With funding being cut everywhere (in everything except healthcare and related fields) it might not be all that simple.

Other updates (bulleted list because I miss writing case papers for school):

  • Texas is warm
  • We’re finally living within 10 miles of Mysore Masala Dosa serving restaurant
  • We’ve been driving our car on its spare tire because we’ve been too lazy to get the flat repaired
  • We own actual furniture (bed, dining table, futon and TV) Yay Ikea!
  • bought a completely useless appliance called electric kettle (I’m too lazy to even heat water on the stove now)
  • decided to make new friends and well, blah blah blah!

Ooh! Forgot! The Husband and I are going to celebrate “one month of living in the same apartment” in a few days. Major milestone for us. So, this is what being married really feels like!

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Goddess or Agony Aunt? October 20, 2009

Filed under: Randomness,The Way I Say It,Through a Woman's Eyes — The Goddess @ 2:57 pm

Here’s a comment I recently received:

Dear Agony Aunt,

How should I decide if I am ready to spend the rest of my hopefully long life with someone I met a couple of times when I take months, sometimes years, to choose my friends?!

What would I ask her? “What are your hobbies? Who’s your fav actor? What’s your fav movie? So, will you marry me?”

How would I buy her a surprise wedding gift when I dont know her taste?

How would I romance an almost stranger? And now it’s almost scientifically proven by Nature that I have no luck with a love marriage! Am I going die single? 😦

Dear Distressed Desi Male,

Unless the most important decisions of your life revolve around watching movies, building your DVD collection and planning how to use your spare room, may I suggest you ask more meaningful questions such as what marriage means to her, whether she considers an arranged marriage a last resort and what plans and/or dreams she has for her future?

May I also gently point out that we no longer live in the dark ages and you could possibly write her an email or two even if you can’t meet her in person?

And Beta, correct me if I’m wrong. When you run around dating that cute girl you only met that one time at a party, are you not romancing a stranger till you decide you love her?

Louve Shouve is all fine Beta, but you must remember, arranged marriage is our Sanskriti. It is our Baratiya Sabhyata. It is also our last resort.

With Best Wishes for a Happy and Prosperous Married Life.

Your Friendly Agony Aunty

ps: Diamonds are the best surprise


to all readers – please note the sarcasm…

 

Be a Man August 7, 2009

Filed under: Through a Woman's Eyes — The Goddess @ 10:56 am

In our days of liberated women, unisex, metrosexuals and being in touch with our “inner selves” have we killed the real men there were out there? Of late, I seem to encounter too many men who sound like school-girls. But what is a real man like?

A real man is secure about himself. Confident without being arrogant, chivalrous without being chuavnistic, willing to compromise without making it seem like a favour and able to watch a romantic movie without calling it a chick flick.

A real man can stand up for his woman. He appreciates that his woman can most likely live without him but chooses to be with him (the reverse applies to real women too). But he can stand up for her and shield her from some things she faces simply by virtue of being his partner.

A real man can appreciate that his woman is probably tougher than him. And he resepects her for it. But he’s there for her when she needs to break down without making her feel like a barbie doll. He can and will drop anything, anytime to be with his partner when she needs him.

A real man understands that a woman can beat him professionally and be a sport about it. He doesn’t “allow” his partner to have a career. Come to think of it, he realizes that he cannot “allow” his partner to do anything. She makes her own choices and her own decisions. Being with him is one of them.

A real man can cook as well as he can eat. He can keep a bathroom clean and appreciate the softness of clothes just out of the dryer. He can be romantic without losing his masculinity and empathize when he encounters PMS and menstrual cramps. He can take over the home when his partner is busy but leave it to her the remaining times.

A real man understands that it takes two to make “sacrifices” in a relationship. And he respects his woman enough to not “expect” her to do anything. And he has the maturity to make the right decision without labelling it a “sacrifice” and making it look like he’s doing her a favour.

To all those whiney, wimpy, annoying, complaining, insecure, bitchy men out there, I have just one piece of advice. Grow a pair of b***s…

 

Accepting Applications April 24, 2009

For the post of onsite best friend.

Requirements:

Must willingly spend time with me instead of succumbing to academic, social or personal pressure and spending time for the sake of future gain.

Must not complain when I call in the middle of the night with intellectual, emotional, philosophical, nonsensical or whimsical demands.

Must be able to appreciate the concept of a sense of space and gauge moods.

Must consume occasional doses of gyan with a teaspoon of salt (or preferred seasoning).

Must be capable of sustaining intelligent conversation not centered around “Academics” or “People Around Us” or constantly compare life with “The Way it Was”.

Must understand that a friend is not someone who fills up time when the significant other can’t be there.

Must live within walking distance of my apartment.

Perks:

Unwavering loyalty

A shoulder to cry on

An ear to crib to

A person who cares

Endless conversations

Amazing coffee!

Closing Comments:

Individuals holding this post in the past will be able to provide further inputs regarding the post and perks

 

Bharatiya Sansktriti and All that Jazz March 4, 2009

Filed under: About Me,Through a Woman's Eyes — The Goddess @ 12:23 pm

So…

I call my husband by his name.

I allow guys to visit my home unchaperoned

I am not beyond a bit of drink and pathetic dance

I say the words, sex, bisexual, gay, lesbian, porn and sexual frustration out loud

I expect chocolates on Valentines Day (any reason will do)

I wear Jeans and skirts and rarely wear a bindi

I think Ayodhya should be delcared secular

I asked my friends to contribute to the Pink Chaddi campaign

But without contradicting myself…

I wonder why people live in together when they might as well get married and get the tax benefits

I wonder what makes people Aethist while I must listen to my Suprabhatam everyday

I always say Gods in the plural

I word my blogs so only those with an Indian connection can truly appreciate them

I wear my mangalsutra with a kind of fanatic regularity (and I still have my toe rings on)

And I generally play the role of Good Indian Wife with ease.

 

Amit Chatterjee February 23, 2009

Filed under: Discovering marriage,Growing Up,The Way I Am,Through a Woman's Eyes — The Goddess @ 11:07 am

For the longest time, I imagined that I would be married to someone like Amit Chatterjee (from my favourite novel – The Suitable Boy). Intellectual, moody, selective, attracting a lot of admirers. A social snob, unexpectedly profound and unconventionally romantic. 

As the years went by, this notion of mine was reinforced. I was convinced that I would never be able to connect with anyone simpler than this favourite character of mine.

Time went by, I was courted and wooed, displayed and evaluated. 

And then, I suddenly found myself “The One”. Someone completely different from the ideal I so carefully cherished. Intelligent but not intellectual. Well read but not a snob. Capable of moodiness but rarely succumbing to it, blissfully oblivious to the world around. Profound when the need arises and romantic always.

Over the last year and a half as I have known this person and loved him, I have realized how foolish I was to want for myself, someone like me. How foolish it is to be a snob. To judge and evaluate. To battle with questions that have no answers, to strive to be someone I am not.

Years later, as I read the book again, I see how I might have imagined a person of this sort to be the right one for me. But now, as I revisit the character and then look at the person I am with, I feel proud of myself for not letting the shallowness of a Convent School education sway me against my better judgement.

Sometimes, in life, it’s not complexity that matters as much as depth. It’s not the approval of those you know that matters as much as you yourself.

 


 

 

 

Dedicated to the conversation this evening.

 

Opposites Can’t Attract December 9, 2008

Filed under: The Way I Am,The Way I Say It,Through a Woman's Eyes — The Goddess @ 7:27 am

For the longest time, I was led to believe that opposites attract romantically. The princess and the street rat, the hippie and the conventional guy, the smart guy and the dumb girl, the smart girl and the dumb guy, the impulsive girl and the PhD student… You get it!

But as time passed by, I realized that it’s actually not true. Opposites cannot and do not attract. The selfish and the generous, the security loving and the risk taking, the romantic and the pragmatic, the inconsiderate and the giving, the judgmental and the saint, the patient and the impatient… They cannot live together. They cannot really fall in love.

As time passes by and I see more of my friends find their special someones, I realize that we seek out the familiarity of our own selves wrapped in a different frame. 

The self centered, judgemental, inconsiderate woman can only be happy with the equally judgmental, pompous condenscending man. If alone they were insufferable, together they’re worse. But I cannot imagine a more perfect pair. I cannot imagine either of them being able to appreciate gentleness, consideration, kindness and generosity. I cannot imagine either of them be able to understand the worth of freedom of choice, or thought or depth of feeling. I cannot imagine them ever being attracted to someone they might percieve to be better than themselves. It’s only the false belief that someone might change that makes a person want to take a chance…

No, opposites don’t attract. They could never really appreciate each other. And they could never live with each other (unless forced by cruel fate to share the rent)…